Okay, let’s do this.
Goal setting tips are literally everywhere, but most of them are written by people who wake up at 4:47 a.m. drinking celery juice and smiling at spreadsheets. I am not that guy. I’m sitting here in my apartment in Austin, Texas, at 1:14 a.m. on a Thursday, still in the same hoodie I wore to Whataburger yesterday, eating cold fries, writing this because I finally figured out how to set goals without wanting to yeet myself into the Colorado River. https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
I used to do the whole SMART goals thing and then immediately fail by January 3rd. Like 2022—I swore I’d “read 75 books” and ended up doom-scrolling TikTok until my eyes bled. Cool story, bro.
Anyway, here are the seven goal setting tips that actually stuck for this hot mess of a human.
Why My Old Goal Setting Tips Were Straight Garbage Goal Setting Like a Pro
Look, I tried the vision boards. I tried the 5 a.m. club. I even tried writing my goals in red pen because some influencer said it “activates the root chakra” or whatever. All I activated was a panic attack and a $400 credit-card bill at Michaels craft store.
Goal Setting Tip #1: Make It Stupidly Embarrassing
I only hit the gym consistently when I told my group chat I’d Venmo everyone $20 every time I skipped. Public humiliation > willpower. Try it. Tell your friends the most cringe version of your goal. Mine right now? “Stop doom-eating Whataburger taquitos at 2 a.m.” It’s on my Instagram story. I’m terrified and therefore motivated. https://www.rescuetime.com/
Goal Setting Tip #2: Plan the Relapse, Not Just the Win Goal Setting Like a Pro
Every productivity bro acts like slipping up is optional. Nah. I know I’m gonna eat the entire family-size bag of Takis at least twice this month. So I plan for it. I literally write “eat trash, feel bad, keep going anyway” into my Notion. Paradoxically, giving myself permission to screw up makes me screw up less.
Goal Setting Tip #3: One Goal Gets the Crown, the Rest Are Side Quests
I used to have twelve goals and achieved exactly zero. Now I pick one “king goal” and everything else is optional DLC. Right now my king goal is “ship the damn online course before I turn 34 and have an existential crisis.” Everything else—flossing, Spanish on Duolingo, not killing my one surviving succulent—can wait. https://streaksapp.com/
Goal Setting Tip #4: Track It Like a Tamagotchi Goal Setting Like a Pro
Remember those digital pets that died if you ignored them? Goals are the same. I have a Google Sheet called “Don’t Let the Dream Die” with a streak counter. If I miss a day, the little pixel guy gets sad. I’m twenty-nine years old and emotionally manipulated by my own spreadsheet. It works.
Goal Setting Tip #5: Reward Yourself With Trash You Actually Want
Not “bubble bath and journaling.” I reward myself with Whataburger honey-butter chicken biscuits and binge-watching Love Is Blind. Because I’m a simple man with simple pleasures. https://www.beeminder.com/
Goal Setting Tip #6: The “Tomorrow Me Is a Stranger” Rule Goal Setting Like a Pro
I only commit to stuff I’d do if a random dude showed up at my door and said, “Hey, wanna do this tiny thing right now?” If future-me wouldn’t high-five present-me for setting it up, I don’t do it. This is why I no longer sign up for 6 a.m. bootcamps. Tomorrow-me hates me enough already.
Goal Setting Tip #7: Burn the Goal Down on Purpose Once a Quarter
Every three months I take my big goal, look it dead in the eye, and ask, “Do I still give a shit?” If the answer is no, I light it on fire (metaphorically) and pick a new one. Last September I quit “learn guitar” and started “learn how to make sourdough that doesn’t taste like depression.” Best decision of 2025.
Anyway. That’s it. Those are my goal setting tips that aren’t polished or pretty but actually turned me from a chronic quitter into… well, someone who mostly gets shit done now.
If you try even one of these and it works, slide into my DMs and tell me. If it doesn’t, blame capitalism, not me.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tomorrow-me is a stranger and he’s about to wake up to a honey-butter chicken biscuit reward for finishing this post. Peace out. Goal Setting Like a Pro
