Growth mindset vs fixed mindset is something I think about way too much while I’m stuck in traffic on I-35 South right now, honestly. Like, I’m literally sitting here in my 2012 Civic blasting Tyler, The Creator, sipping a lukewarm gas-station coffee, wondering why I still freeze up every time I try something new. It’s embarrassing. I know the theory—Carol Dweck, Stanford, all that jazz (here, have a link so I look smart: https://fs.blog/carol-dweck-mindset/). But knowing and doing? Two different beasts, bro.
How My Fixed Mindset Almost Ruined Me (Okay, Drama, But Still)
Back in 2021 I decided I was “just bad at money.” Like, full-on fixed mindset meltdown. I’d look at my bank app, see $23.47, and go, “Welp, guess I’m the kind of person who’s always broke.” Didn’t even occur to me that maybe I could… learn budgeting? I avoided every finance video like it was gonna bite me. Then one random Tuesday my card got declined at Taco Cabana—public humiliation, yee-haw—and something snapped. I downloaded YNAB that night at 2 a.m. crying into a bean burrito. Growth mindset vs fixed mindset moment, I guess? Still took me six months to stop hating myself every time I opened the app. https://fs.blog/carol-dweck-mindset/
That Time I Thought I Was “Not a Runner” (Spoiler: I Still Kinda Think That)
I see people on Strava doing 10-mile runs like it’s nothing and my brain immediately screams “That’s not you, you’re the kid who faked asthma in middle school PE.” Classic fixed mindset trash talk. So last month I signed up for a 5K anyway because I’m a chaotic gremlin. First two weeks? Pure torture. Shin splints, wheezing, the whole sad playlist. But somewhere around week three I caught myself thinking, “Okay, today sucked slightly less.” Tiny, stupid, beautiful growth mindset flicker. I’m still slow as hell, but I haven’t quit yet and that feels… weirdly good? https://www.youneedabudget.com/
Little Ways I Trick My Brain Into a Growth Mindset Now (Because Left to My Own Devices I Default to Trash)
- I started saying “I haven’t learned this yet” instead of “I suck at this.” Sounds corny, feels revolutionary at 3 a.m. when I’m failing at Duolingo Spanish owl is judging me hard.
- I keep a “failure résumé” in my notes app—every dumb thing I tried and bombed. Reading it actually makes me laugh instead of spiral.
- When fixed mindset voice pipes up (“You’re too old to start X”), I answer out loud like a crazy person: “Shut up, I’m 34, not dead.” My dog thinks I’m unhinged. He’s right. https://www.betterhelp.com/
Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset in Dating (Yeah I Went There)
Real talk: I used to think I was “just unlovable.” Like, factory setting broken. After the third situationship ghosted me I was ready to tattoo it on my forehead. Then I started therapy (shoutout BetterHelp, no sponsorship just facts) and realized—wait—I can actually learn how to communicate instead of doing that anxious-attachment spiral thing. Still messy. Still text people at 1 a.m. sometimes. But I’m… trying? Growth mindset in the streets, fixed mindset in the DMs, basically.https://www.mindsetworks.com/science/
Look, I’m not some enlightened guru sipping green juice in Malibu. I’m in Austin right now eating leftover Torchy’s tacos for breakfast and arguing with myself about whether I’m capable of finishing the novel I started in 2023. Growth mindset vs fixed mindset isn’t a switch I flipped—it’s a daily cage match and fixed mindset still wins rounds.
But I’m fighting. And that’s new.
So tell me in the comments—which one are you today? No judgment, I’m literally both before my second coffee. If this disaster of a human can inch toward growth mindset, maybe you can too. Or don’t. I’m not your mom.
Anyway, gotta go attempt adulting now. Wish me luck. 🚮💕
