everything else glows neon. The desired style is slightly blurred vaporwave-tinged photorealism. Incorporate floating translucent to-do lists that look like they’re glitching out of existence. The emotional tone should be wryly exhausted but weirdly defiant. The preferred color palette is oversaturated magenta, teal, and sickly chartreuse.https://jamesclear.com/perfectionism
okay i’m just gonna say it: productivity tips make me wanna yeet my phone into the hudson and go live in a quiet life as a possum. it’s 3:27 a.m. in bushwick right now. a fly keeps dive-bombing my lamp. my left sock has a hole big enough for my entire personality to escape through. and i just found a taco bell receipt in my pocket that says “thank u bby. perfect.
Why normal productivity tips feel like a hate crime
they just do. some perky influencer tells me to journal my intentions while the sun rises and i’m over here trying to remember if i ate today. i once lost my airpods for two days. turns out they were in my ears the whole time. classic me. https://www.adhdrewired.com/body-doubling
The only productivity tips my dumpster-fire brain actually uses
- the “70% is the new 100%” rule done is better than perfect. ship it and run.
- two-minute chaos rule if it takes under two minutes, i do it now. dishes happen, taxes do not.
- sad facetime body doubling my friend mara and i stare at each other on mute and occasionally flip each other off. works every time.
- shame timer i set 15 minutes and bully myself into starting. reverse psychology is undefeated.
- reward with trash task finished = cold pizza and doomscrolling. balance.
[Insert Image] extreme close-up of my coffee mug graveyard on the windowsill, shot from frog perspective like it’s a true-crime documentary. alt: “caffeine crypt, population: me” https://www.rescuetime.com/
That one time i accidentally adulted for 45 whole minutes
rent was late (shocker). client kept dming me about an invoice. i threw on my lucky taco-bell hoodie, hit play on vampire weekend, and just started typing. forty-seven minutes later the invoice was gone and money hit my account the next day. i cried. still no idea how that happened.
Productivity tips i will actually fight you over
- 5 a.m. club (unless you’re a farmer, sleep in)
- eat the frog (i’m eating frosting from the tub)
- drink a gallon of water (i lose every water bottle i own)
- $99 meditation apps (i manifest naps for free)
look. if you also despise productivity tips but occasionally need to pay bills, steal one of my dumb tricks. or don’t—i’m ignoring five slack pings and a smoke detector that’s been screaming since thursday, so i’m clearly winning at life. https://cash.app/$chaosgremlin420
worst productivity advice you ever tried? drop it below so we can roast it together.
also my cashapp is literally $chaosgremlin420 if you wanna fund more unhinged content. i take bribes in coffee and forgiveness.
