I gotta hold on to hope even when it feels ridiculous, like seriously ridiculous, because last Tuesday I was sitting on my kitchen floor in sweatpants that haven’t been washed since October crying over a credit-card bill, and my dog kept bringing me his gross slobbery tennis ball like “mom, play.” That’s it. That’s the bar right now. Hold on to hope https://www.crisistextline.org/
Why Holding Onto Hope Feels Stupid Sometimes (But I Do It Anyway) Hold on to hope
Look, I’m not some Pinterest-quote girl. Holding onto hope has looked more like microwaving the same coffee three times, texting my best friend “I’m fine” while ugly-sobbing, and then noticing the dumb little tomato plant on my porch that I forgot to water for two weeks is suddenly covered in flowers. Like, bro, same. I’m barely watered and still trying to bloom. https://988lifeline.org/
I lost my job in September—cool, cool, very cool—and spent weeks refreshing Indeed until my thumb cramped. One night I actually whispered to my ceiling fan, “If you’re real, God or universe or whatever, give me a sign I’m not totally screwed.” Next morning there was a random Venmo from an old coworker I haven’t talked to in four years that literally covered rent. I laughed so hard I snorted. Clinging to hope felt less insane after that. Hold on to hope https://twloha.com/
Little Ways I’m Still Holding On to Hope Right Now (Messy Edition) Hold on to hope
- That playlist titled “don’t off yourself, there’s new music friday” — it’s unhinged but it works
- Buying the expensive oat milk even though I’m broke because tiny luxuries count as hope currency
- Texting myself voice memos at 2 a.m. that just say “you’re still here, good job queen”
- Watching the stray cat that visits my porch eat the fancy tuna I can’t afford for myself
The Time I Almost Didn’t Hold On to Hope (Yeah, We’re Going There) Hold on to hope
December 2023 was… not cute. I’d just gotten dumped two weeks before Christmas, my car died in a Kroger parking lot during a snowstorm, and I ate gas-station sushi because it was the only thing open on Christmas Eve. I sat in that cold car and thought, “This is actually the end of the movie.” Then some random dude in a Carhartt knocked on my window and jump-started my battery without saying much. Didn’t get his name. Still think about him when I’m spiraling. Small signs of hope wearing work boots, apparently.
How I’m Practicing Holding Onto Hope When My Brain Says Lol No Hold on to hope
I started this dumb thing where every night I have to write one thing that didn’t suck about the day. Some days it’s literally “the shower was hot” or “I didn’t cry in public.” But it forces my brain to scan for evidence that the world isn’t 100% garbage. Science or whatever.
Also, I talk to my plants now. Out loud. Like a full-on lunatic. I tell the pothos about my ex and it just keeps growing. Rude, but inspiring.
Holding onto hope isn’t some grand cinematic moment for me. someone) keeps tying new knots lower down. It’s ugly. It’s embarrassing. My therapist says I’m doing great and I love her for lying to my face. Hold on to hope
If you’re reading this while stress-eating cereal at 3 a.m., same. Hold on to hope anyway—or at least hold on to the spoon. Tomorrow the light might hit different. I’m banking on it, because the alternative is trash and I’m too tired for trash.
Drop your own chaotic little hope anchors in the comments. I read every single one while drinking burnt coffee and crying (the good kind now). https://mhanational.org/resources/finding-hope/
Here for you,
Some girl in Ohio who’s still here Hold on to hope
P.S. If you need actual help right now, text HOME to 741741 (US crisis text line). Been there, used it, zero shame.
