I believe in God, okay? Like, I really do, even though half the time I’m sitting here in my sweaty T-shirt in suburban Ohio, eating cereal that’s been sitting out since midnight, wondering if He’s facepalming at me right now.
Last Tuesday—or wait, was it Wednesday? Whatever, time’s fake—I hit the kind of low where I couldn’t even open my Bible app without spiraling. My dog was snoring, my phone was at 4%, and I had that tight-chest panic that hits when you realize you’re 34 and still don’t have your crap together. So I just… word-vomited this ridiculous prayer out loud. Nothing fancy. No “thees” or “thous.” Just me, the Lucky Charms, and God apparently eavesdropping. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/lord-i-believe-help-my-unbelief
Why My “I Believe in God” Moment Felt So Dumb (But Worked)
Look, I grew up thinking prayer had to sound like a Hallmark card. Meanwhile I’m over here whispering, “God, I believe in You, I swear, but I also believe I’m a walking disaster and I’m terrified You’re bored of me.” Crickets. Then—boom—this tiny calm hit. Not fireworks. Not angels singing. Just… enough quiet to breathe. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/pray-when-you-cant-pray/
Turns out admitting the contradiction out loud is the trick. I believe in God AND I’m a mess. Both can be true. Saying it raw is apparently the cheat code.
The Actual Simple Prayer I Mumble When Faith Feels Like Wet Spaghetti
Here’s the prayer. Don’t laugh (okay, laugh, I do):
“God, I believe in You—help my unbelief. I’m scared, I’m tired, and I ate an entire family-size bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos again. Fix what I keep breaking. Amen… or whatever.”
That’s it. Zero eloquence. I say it when I’m:
- Stuck in traffic on I-71 cursing like a sailor
- Scrolling TikTok at 2 a.m. hating myself
- Crying in the Target parking lot because life’s too much
Every single time, something shifts. Not always big. Sometimes it’s just, “Huh, I didn’t doom-scroll for the full hour.” Progress, not perfection, ya know? https://rachelheldevans.com/blog/help-my-unbelief
When “Build Stronger Faith” Sounds Like a Scam (But Isn’t)
People online sell you 40-day devotionals and $900 conferences. Meanwhile I’m building stronger faith with a prayer that sounds like a drunk text. And it’s working?? Because it’s honest. Because I’m not performing. I’m just… showing up crusty.
Stuff That’s Helping My Hot-Mess Faith Right Now
- Saying the prayer out loud—even if I sound like an idiot
- Leaving my Bible open on the counter so I trip over it (literally)
- Texting one real friend “I believe in God but I’m dying today” instead of pretending
- Listening to worship music that doesn’t annoy me (currently Maverick City on repeat, don’t @ me)
Yeah, I Still Doubt—That’s the Point
Some mornings I wake up and still feel like God’s on mute. Then I say the dumb prayer again. And again. And slowly—SO slowly—this muscle called faith gets less floppy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X8k3p7f4vE
I believe in God. Barely, sometimes. But I do. And that’s enough for today.
Anyway, try the prayer. Or don’t. But if you’re also eating cereal at 3 a.m. wondering if you’re too far gone—just say the messy thing out loud. Turns out He’s into that.
Drop your own chaotic prayer in the comments if you want. Misery loves company, and apparently so does faith.
