Stay strong is the only phrase I’ve been whispering to myself for like 47 days straight and I’m honestly so over it, but also it’s the only thing that fits. I’m sitting here in my freezing apartment outside Columbus, same hoodie since Monday (it’s Thursday), eating cereal with a fork because all the spoons are dirty and I can’t be bothered. https://www.nami.org/Home
Why “Stay Strong” Sometimes Sounds Like Total Bullshit
I’m not your inspirational TikTok girl, okay? Last month I ate gas station sushi at 1am because it was the only thing open and spent the next 36 hours convinced I was actually dying. Full fetal position on the bathroom floor, texting my best friend “if I don’t make it tell my mom the leftover lasagna is hers.” That was peak “stay strong” energy: me ugly-crying into a bathmat that smells like mildew.
The Pathetic Little Wins That Are Keeping Me Alive
- Finally showered three days in a row (yes I counted, leave me alone)
- Threw out the science experiment formally known as yogurt that’s been in my fridge since Halloween
- Answered a “u good?” text with actual sentences instead of 👍
- Wrote “you’re still here, idiot” on the mirror in eyeliner and haven’t wiped it off yet
I started scribbling the dumbest affirmations on whatever paper is closest, receipts, the back of an overdue electric bill, the steamed-up mirror. Stuff like “at least you’re not the sushi anymore” and “the universe hasn’t won yet, annoying right?” They’re cringe as hell but they’re mine. https://twloha.com/find-help/
That One Night I Sat in a Walmart Parking Lot Contemplating Everything
Two weeks ago I was parked under the one working streetlight at 1:13am, engine off, phone at 2%, couldn’t even play my sad playlist. And this moth kept smacking into my windshield like it had a personal vendetta. I started laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe, like full ugly-laugh-crying, because even the bugs were out here trying to motivate me?? I drove home. Didn’t fix anything but I drove home.
How I’m Barely Staying Strong Right This Second
- Blasting early 2000s pop-punk in the shower because you can’t spiral when Fall Out Boy is yelling
- Sending myself voice memos that are just me going “you’re still here keep going you gremlin”
- Lighting that sad birthday candle in the Pop-Tart like it’s a legit celebration because technically I’m still alive and that’s insane
There’s no bow on this. Some days staying strong is brushing my teeth. Some days it’s deleting the text before I send it to the person who wrecked me. Most days it’s just not giving the darkness the satisfaction of winning. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/
If you’re reading this while everything feels heavy, I see you. I’m the girl stress-eating Frosted Flakes out the box with chipped nail polish and monster cans everywhere and I’m still here. You don’t have to feel strong. Just don’t leave yet.
Tell me in the comments the chaotic little thing that’s keeping you going right now; I read them all at 3am when I can’t sleep and they actually help more than you know. https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/
We got this. Or we don’t. But we’re still breathing so f*ck it, onward.
